


Silent Nightmare

by RoyalMoonBunny



Series: Christmas Tri(nity) [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Deep dive, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, M/M, Pining, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Riku Loves Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Slow Burn, Sora bonds with his co-heart people, excessive description of clothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22013089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyalMoonBunny/pseuds/RoyalMoonBunny
Summary: Sora finally gets to hang out with Roxas, Xion, and Ventus while on patrol in Halloween Town and Castle of Dreams. Figuring out how to bond outside of his heart comes naturally with the festive season, but explaining his glitching keyblade and Vanitas? Not so much.AKA, The one where Sora defends Vanitas and Riku dives into his heart.
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Christmas Tri(nity) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1583710
Comments: 10
Kudos: 177





	1. Merry HallowEasterWeen

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of the series! Hope you like Sora in cute clothes and baring his soul to Riku.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jack Skellington is still messing around with the Halloween formula, their world glamours are affected, and everyone gets to meet Santa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with the fluff and the pain.  
> Companion soundtrack is available via Soundcloud (link in profile).

“I can’t believe he took pictures of me,” Sora groaned from the pilot’s seat of the gummiship. No matter how much he liked the formal wear Elsa magically made, he had absolutely no plans of showing the entire world. Riku seeing? Fine. He could take the expected teasing, though Riku had aggressively approved of his outfit choice instead (what was that all about?). 

"Calm down your Highness," Roxas laughed at him, leaning across his seat to nudge Ventus. "We don't want you getting swept up by some mystery moose guy."Ventus and Roxas chuckled, high-fiving each other. 

Sora pouted, already regretting his decision to tell them anything about the day before. “For the last time, it was reindeer!” he defended. Ugh, what were the chances that the two had made his patrol group? He and Riku had left Arendelle in a whirlwind the morning after the Yule ball. Master Yen Sid had telephoned _early_ early to recruit them for a worlds checkup. It was all hands on deck, as there were increasing reports of black creatures roaming around the quadrant.

Everyone thought it was heartless, but Sora knew better. The only force out there with that kind of organization and strength was Vanitas, and he wasn't ready to tell everyone how and why that'd come to pass.

"They're just messing with you Sora," Xion placated him, patting his knee as if he were a child. "Besides, I think it's cute that a moose guy fell in love with you."

Roxas began laughing again, setting off Ven in the process. Sora sighed at the noise, but couldn't help but smile. It was the first time he, Roxas, Ven, and Xion had gone somewhere all together. It was nice to see his heart friends getting along so well. 

"Plus, Riku got some great pictures of you!" Xion hyped, turning her gummiphone his way and swiping through Riku's post. There was a good one of him and Elsa walking down the stairs, then one of him smiling and talking with Anna, and the last two of him dancing with Ryder. Roxas had been quick to comment that both pictures only caught Ryder's back - focused on Sora spinning, shimmery cape mid-flutter, in one. The other was the iconic lift. Riku had snapped a picture just as his surprise had morphed into delight. 

"It's a shame Riku took none of himself." Xion pouted. "I bet he looked cool too."

"He was too busy pining over Sora," Roxas quipped, scrolling down his own Kingstagram feed. 

"As always."

"Shut up," Sora demanded, face burning. "He is not pining." 

"Then why did he make such a fuss when Master Yen Sid split you guys up this morning?" Ven asked conspiratorially, grin sly. "I think he looooves youuu."

"I will crash this gummiship straight into an asteroid, I swear to god," Sora threatened, knowing he was red, red, _red_.

"Huh, that was a very Riku-like thing to say," Xion commented innocently.

"Well they say you copy the person you love-" 

"Ok, wow look at that we're here!" Sora loudly interrupted Ventus, pointing to the world made of fear and joy split in half. 

Ven whooped, seat belt barely containing him. Roxas leaned over and tightened it as Ven ranted. "I can't believe a world like this exists, it's gonna be so cool you guys! Which are we going to first? Does it make sense to go chronologically or to go by what's closest? Do you think Santa will give me presents early?"

"This is Ventus very excited to check out Halloween and Christmas town," Xion narrated. Sora glanced over from the landing permissions to see her aiming her gummiphone at Ventus and Roxas. "For comparison, we have his twin Roxas who doesn't seem to care about anything because he's dead inside."

"Hey!" Roxas protested. "Everyone likes vampires and presents. I am filled with joy for this moment." 

"And here is our fearless leader," Xion continued, panning the video to Sora. "He's all blushy cause we were teasing him about his boyfriend." 

Sora made a screeching noise, torn between tackling Xion and not crashing the gummiship. 

"He's not my boyfriend!" he defended at exactly the same time as Roxas's offscreen comment. 

"Moose prince!" 

Xion giggled and put her phone down. "Alright, I'm uploading it to my story. I tagged you guys!"

"Let's not forget we're going to this world for a mission," Ventus said sagely, blond spikes bobbing with his downcast gaze. It sobered the cockpit considerably. Sora knew, out of everyone, the person most likely to know about Vantias being back would be Ven. They were two halves of a whole, just like him and Roxas. Ventus would understand why he’d done it right? He hadn't disappeared because bringing back Kairi had been the final straw in his abuse of diving. No, it was because he'd brought back Vanitas, too. 

"Yeah," Sora agreed, finally recovering from the teasing. It was time to have fun with friends and there was no room for frowny faces on his ship. If they ran into Vanitas, he’d figure it out then. “Our mission: We're not leaving without eating Christmas cookies!" Ventus laughed in surprise, spurring a cheer of consensus followed his words as they landed in Halloweentown. It looked...strange? 

"Uh…" Sora blinked. "This is not...how it should be?"

It was Halloween, though there was a contrasting inclusion of pastel pink, green, and blue lights, wreaths with dead flowers, and Jack Skellington himself in what looked like a furry rabbit costume. Sora blinked again, turning to his heart companions wearily. "I think we have a problem." His friends stared at each other in confusion before shrugging at him with wide grins. 

“Nothing we can’t fix though, right?” Ven assured cheerfully, hands on his hips. “Just zap us all with that world-change make up and lets do this!” 

“Actually,” Xion held her index finger up. “I asked the three good fairies to give us an update before we left. They should auto cast the magic for us.” 

“Is that why my clothes went missing after my shower this morning?” Sora wondered aloud. “I thought I was going crazy or something.” He leaned his head back into his arms and walked out the gummiship, breathing in the familiar scent of burnt ozone and fog. Startled laughing had him swirling around to a very amused Ventus and a shell-shocked Roxas. Sora held his hand to his mouth to stop from guffawing in a very Goofy-like way at the outfit change. 

Both Roxas and Ventus were a strange mix of goth-cute. While Ven had sparkly green and purple carrot-shaped barrettes in his now-white hair, Roxas’s top spikes (now black) had been pulled into a messy ponytail with a shiny hair tie. Sora vaguely remembered the tying mechanism, an elastic band with multicolored orbs, from elementary school. The girls in his class had loved trading colors and clanking them together when they got bored. Kairi had worn it religiously until she’d used it to as a flinging device against Riku one too many times. His best friend had coldly tossed it as far as he could into the grassy playground, never to be found again. 

Ventus was wearing the most ridiculous pair of lavender and baby blue striped tights with black bat silhouettes interspersed throughout. It maybe-almost matched the huge teal hoodie he wore, complete with a realistic skull that wore a rose flower crown. Sora wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. “Ven, take a look at yourself, too.” 

Ventus did so and balked, as if it hadn’t occurred to him that his outfit would be just as strange as Roxas’s. He made an unsure sound and fingered the heart-shaped choker on his neck. “Man, what is all this? Am I cute or scary?” 

Sora hesitated to respond. The colors he was wearing, despite the normal black combat boots, suggested the former. His intense black eyeliner and the fake blood splayed across his hoodie hinted otherwise. 

“This is shit,” Roxas said emphatically, glaring down at his purple and black overalls. Sora bit his lip in restraint, watching his Other disgustedly trace the cat silhouettes on his clothing. Underneath the overalls, however, looked like a semblance of a normal, scratched up black shirt. Fishnet stockings led down from the shorts of the overalls into a pair of platform pink sneakers. “Fuck everything,” Roxas grit out, shoving down his black cat ears that Sora hadn’t noticed at first. 

“I mean, your eyeliner is really good? The cateye swipes make the yellow of your eyes pop.” Xion giggled, finally meeting them outside the ship. She looked comfortable with her clothes and they suited her well. Her face was even more pale than usual, blue eyes wider with the running mascara down her face. She was wearing an elaborate dress that reminded Sora vaguely of Jane’s books back in Deep Jungle, with ruffles underneath and a hem lined with teddy bears. She turned to smile at Sora with deep red lips. “But I think Sora takes the cake.” 

Ven and Roxas turned their attention from Xion to him, lips trembling in what Sora assumed was restraint. Sora groaned and looked down, already dreading what he would see. Why couldn’t he have kept his old outfit? He liked it, even with the weird pumpkin mask. 

First of all, he was wearing a goddamn skirt. “What the fuck,” he said, voice unmistakably high. He distantly heard the three in front of him dissolve into hysterical laughter, because it wasn’t a weird, evil-Riku half-skirt nonsense thing. It was a legitimate, blush pink and black poofy plaid skirt. He stared blankly at the pentagrams and ouiji board designs on top of it, cast in white and gold in a decidedly un-Halloween way. His thin cream shirt, he realized in mortification, had legitimate ruffles in a sweetheart neck, displaying his crown necklace proudly to the world. The sleeves were large and open at the shoulders, acting more like a makeshift veil than adequate cover against the cold breeze of Halloween town. “Why?” he complained to his body, ignoring the hiccuping in front of him. As he moved, the chains around his hips swung deftly from side to side. 

“Oh, my-” Roxas cut himself off with more laughter. “You haven’t even seen-” 

Sora glared at him impatiently. “What have I not seen?” 

Ventus collapsed into his twin while Xion calmed down enough to dig out a compact from her subspace pocket. “Here,” she offered. “And I think it suits you. Honestly!” 

Sora rallied his courage and looked at himself in the mirror, grimacing as he saw the eyeliner that everyone had suffered through accompanied by unnecessary gold glitter. When he didn’t see a brown bang that always cut across his face, he panicked, shifting the small mirror upward and screaming. “What happened to my hair?!” Because for the first time in his entire life, it wasn’t spiky. It was curly and long and pulled into two distinct pigtails high on either side of his head. “Why do I look like a girl?!” he demanded to know.

Roxas clutched his stomach and made an abortive motion with his hand. “Stop, please stop I can’t breathe-” he said before peeling into laughter again. Ventus mirrored his condition.

Xion rolled her eyes and linked herself and Sora arm-in-arm. “Forget about them, I think you look good. Don’t you?” 

Sora grimaced. “It looks like something Kairi should wear, not me!” Especially with the black and pink plaid. “Did the fairies do something weird to my clothes? Am I being pranked?!”

Xion sighed. “Sora, I promise you that no one is trying to pull a fast one. Who cares what those two doofuses think. Do you really think it’s that terrible?”

Sora looked into her earnest blue eyes that looked so much like his own, and suddenly knew what she was implying. Xion juggled frequently from boys clothes to girls clothes all the time. When Ventus had asked her about it, she’d confessed to the whole group that sometimes she just felt better as a boy. Maybe it had something to do with her time as part Kairi’s memories and Sora himself, jugging between two identities and two genders consistently. 

Sora took a breath and opened the compact again, grounding himself by knowing that he still looked like him, despite the clothes and hairstyle. “It isn’t, actually,” he confessed to her with a guilty smile. “Sorry I freaked out.” 

Xion patted his arm. “Only someone very secure with who they are could wear something so different and not feel threatened. Do you know who you are?” Her inquisitive eyes alerted Sora to what Riku had suggested earlier, that half their group of friends knew something was wrong with him. Before he could say or do anything, Ventus and Roxas infiltrated their little huddle. 

“Alright, so, game plan?” Roxas asked, over the clothing ordeal. “Should we tell someone to stop messing with Halloween or…?”

“Nope,” Sora immediately responded, shaking his head and crossing his arms. It was weird to have actual weight on his head and to see his hair move with his motions. “I’m not gonna get involved in this one, guys. The worlds aren’t in danger. They can figure out their own domestic disputes.”

“Did Sora just use the expression ‘domestic disputes’?” Ventus sidelined to Xion. 

“Shut up!” Sora pointed at Ven. “I’m not gonna keep the peace 24/7. It’s better for worlds to be autonomous. We come in when there’s an outside force, alright?”

“Huh,” Roxas considered him. “That’s actually a smart philosophy to have. Got any more of those in there or was this just a one-time thing?” 

Sora shoved him hard enough to send him dangerously close to the eerie green fountain, gathering the attention of one freakishly dressed Jack Skellington. 

“Ah! New friends. Are you here to witness the joyous occasion of new Halloween?!” he asked, rabbit hood ears bouncing with his head. 

“Uhh,” Sora uncertainly trailed, taking in his friend's fluffy grey wool bodysuit horrendously accented with bright pastel bows. “Not exactly?”

“Wait,” Jack leaned down to peer at him. “Sora! Is that you in there? I almost didn’t recognize you. But I love all these colors! Sally! Sally look Sora caught wind of my new Halloween idea!”

Sora turned to where Jack was yelling, spotting a normally dressed Sally glaring their way. 

“Aw, Sally, don’t be that way,” Jack bemoaned as she walked away. His shoulders dropped as she left their line of sight, only to pop back up within a second. “Anyway! Sora! You look great. These people aren’t Donald and Goofy, I take it?” 

Sora turned back to his friends and smiled. “Nope! I’m showing them around my favorite places, and Halloweentown is on the list. This is Roxas, Ven, and Xion. They’re - uh…” Sora sheepishly scratched his cheek, eyes darting back to consider them shyly. “They’re family.” 

“Oh! Relatives of Sora. How wonderful! We must show you everything,” Jack exclaimed, grabbing Ventus’s hand and pulling him toward city hall. “Now, keep in mind we’re making some alterations to Halloween. For instance, that fountain of acid there, traditional. Those flower wreaths hanging? New!” 

Sora smiled and put his arms behind his head, watching Xion giggle and run to keep up with long-legged Jack and half-jogging Ven. It was nice to see them doing normal things. He glanced at Roxas, who hadn’t budged an inch. “Rox?” he asked. 

Roxas met his gaze and gave him a wry smile. “Family, huh?” 

Sora blinked rapidly, wondering if the statement had offended his Other. “Oh, uh. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He totally understood Roxas’s and Xion’s need to separate themselves from his own existence. So much of their lives had revolved around him.

“Nah, it’s alright. I don’t mind it,” Roxas half-smiled, mirroring his pose. “Let’s go make sure they don’t get into trouble.” 

Sora was overcome with the need to hug him and tell him he was sorry, again, for everything that had happened. He wanted to tell Roxas that a big reason he’d been so adamant about getting him out of his own heart was because Sora wanted to know him. Before he’d realized Axel meant so much to his Other, and that Xion existed, they’d fought on his heart station like enemies. Ever since then, Sora had wanted nothing more but to show him he had his back. 

But instead Sora snorted, meandering toward the open city hall. “Please. Ven and Xion? We both know it’s you and I everyone should worry about.” 

Roxas followed, punching his shoulder lightly and laughing in agreement. “Let’s paint the town red.” 

And, well, the town was already being painted. Sora shook his head in disbelief at the pink walls of city hall and the baskets of dyed eggs on almost every surface. Any hopes he had of Jack not abducting another holiday were outright trampled by Shot, Lock, and Barrel running by with bubble wands and butterfly wings. 

“Yes, oh Xion you must take a look at this,” Jack insisted, motioning to one of the many baskets on the secretary's desk. “You see, this is an egg. You boil it alive and then submerge it into one of many colors in celebration of its death! They even calling it ‘egg dying’. Doesn’t it just scream Halloween?” 

Xion laughed nervously, looking toward Sora for help. “Um, yeah. It sounds just lovely.” 

“Sora, the four of you absolutely must join us for our picnic! There will be new activities to enjoy,” Jack clasped his hands together. “There is a game called three legs race. You get a partner and sew one of your legs together. Then, you race! Isn’t it just delightful?”

“Sew together?” Ven whimpered worriedly. “You can’t just tie them with a rope or something?” 

“Well,” Sora interjected, looking at Xion’s wide eyes. “Sorry Jack, but we were just dropping by. I think we’ll say hello to Santa and then be on our way.” 

Jack deflated. “Aw. That’s too bad. Well, if you have time, please come to the graveyard! Our picnic will be in full swing by then!” 

“Nice to meet you, Jack!” Ventus said a little too eagerly. Xion waved goodbye and took Ven’s hand, both speeding out of the building. Sora sighed, twirling a lock of his long hair idly. 

“Things look pretty cool here,” Roxas offered to Jack. “But it’s not what I expected from Halloween town. Do you have a day where everything is...traditional?” 

Jack hummed. “Well, Roxas - was it? Every day is Halloween here! I thought we’d try innovate, make it more applicable to modern day. The world is changing, you know!” 

Sora licked his lips. Don’t get involved, don’t get involved-

“Do, uh, the people in charge of this other holiday know what you’re doing?” Roxas ventured bravely. Sora cast him a warning glare. 

“Oh, no they don’t,” Jack replied, waving it off. “I’m sure they won’t mind.” 

“Actually, Jack,” Sora said before he could stop himself. “Do you know what that holiday stands for?” 

Jack stared at them before dubiously replying, “No?” 

“It’s a holiday that celebrates living, Jack. Like birth. Babies, puppies, kittens...It’s why the rabbit is so important to the theme! The eggs are important because it symbolizes new life!”

Jack frowned deeply. “But that’s completely different from Halloween! Halloween celebrates death!” 

Sora nodded. “Exactly. That’s why you have to be careful when you do this kind of stuff. It’s like cultural - er - holiday appropriation. If you don’t know why people wear certain things or celebrate in certain ways, but do it anyway, you can completely overwrite the purpose.”

Jack sighed, pulling his bunny-ear hood down, “You’re right. Never in a million years would I have thought these things were the opposite of Halloween. There’s no way we can mix.” 

Sora cast a side glance at Roxas. “Well, I think you can. You may be different, but in the end you both make up halves of the same whole - life. Everyone is born and everyone dies. We need both holidays to understand the world.” Roxas smiled slowly at him, understanding what he was saying without having to say it directly. 

“I’d better get this stuff back to their world then. Close the door and never go back,” Jack said despondently. 

“You can go back,” Roxas reassured the Pumpkin King. “You should go back. I think they’d be just as fascinated with you and Halloweentown, Jack. Who knows,” Roxas purposed, looking at Sora again. “Maybe they’ve been waiting for you to reach out first.” 

“You’re right. Roxas, Sora, thank you. I think I’ll march over there and invite them to our picnic. Do you think they’d come? We could say it was in their honor!” Jack offered, voice getting louder and louder as an idea took full form. “Ah! This is even more perfect. Leaders must always maintain international relationships, you know. As the Pumpkin King, I must make our hospitality and existence known!” 

Sora laughed at Jack’s energy. “Yeah, I think that’s a great idea. And you know what? I think Sally will love it too.” 

Jack hurrahed in triumph and gathered them both in a semi-painful hug. “Thank you both so much! Stop by again for the real Halloween town!” 

“Of course,” Sora answered when released. “And take me to the other place too when you find it! I’m going to show Christmas town to the others now.” 

“Tell Sandy Claws I said hi!” Jack suddenly clapped, taking two baskets and shoving it in their arms. “Here! They have candy and dead eggs! Give one to Sandy Claws too, please.” 

“Sure thing,” Roxas chuckled, motioning his head to get Sora out the door. Xion and Ventus met them halfway, complaining about their speed and picking at the candy in their baskets as Sora navigated them to the woods. 

“So, these are holidays?’ Xion asked curiously, tracing the heart on one of the tree trunks. 

“Yep!” Sora chimed, opening the door to Christmas Town and beaming at the sudden flurry of snow. 

“Whoa!” Ven exclaimed, racing over to catch the snowflakes. “They match my hair!” 

Sora stared at Ventus’s hair and then made a screeching noise. “Have you never seen snow before?!” 

“Nope!” he replied happily. “Wow, it’s cold!” 

“But it smells so good!” Xion said, leaning into the trunk. “Does it taste good too?” 

“Wait, no, that smell is cinnamon and cookies, guys. Roxas, can you believe this?” Sora gestured his two fascinated friends. 

“Yeah, I can,” Roxas replied easily, touching a floating snowflake. “Because I’ve only seen snow through you, doofus. Didn’t you only see it for the first time like three years ago?” 

Sora made a helpless noise. “Well yeah but-” 

“Oh my god I’m so tired of you talking,” Ven complained. “Just take me to Santa please, Sora.” 

Sora deadpanned the group and uncrossed his arms. “Okay, fine. You wanna go to Christmas Town?”

“Yes!” Ven replied enthusiastically. 

“Okay,” Sora said, smile devious. “You asked for it!” 

And then he pushed Ventus right the fuck down the tree. Ven’s startled scream threw Sora into a fit of laughter before the world tilted sideways to reveal a cheshire-grinning Roxas. “Bye Sora!” he said, waving. He saw Xion appear, giggling, just before the world disappeared into black, blue, and then cold, cold white. 

“Ugh,” Sora groaned, remembering this part of the portal a little too late to avoid the face full of snow. He remembered the other part just in time, rolling away before Xion took his place, followed by a disgruntled Roxas that barely missed collapsing onto her. 

“Wow, you guys,” Ventus breathed. “This place is amazing.” 

Sora got to his feet and breathed a sigh of relief at the unchanged town. Good old Santa never let him down. “Yeah, and it looks the way it’s supposed to,” he said to them. 

“And our clothes are cute here too!” Xion said, bouncing to her feet and checking out her back. 

They were all dressed in very tame, very standard velvets and furs. Sora smiled at Xion, fitted in a long-sleeved, knee-length gold dress with matching santa hat. Her tights underneath looked like candy canes, white with red and green spirals. “Our shoes are my favorite!” she grinned, poking at the small pompoms that all their ankle boots had. 

“Do you think we can take this with us?” Ven asked, decked out in forest green long shorts and silver-button down sweater. “It’d be perfect for the King’s Christmas ball the day after tomorrow!” 

“I don’t think spell disguises work that way,” Roxas replied, messing with the gold buttons on his red sweater. “But maybe we could buy some of these hats we all have in the village? It’d be cool to get one for Axel. This is his color.” 

Sora had once again expected his own outfit to be the black version of Roxas and Ven’s, the way it had been last time he was here. Instead, he looked down to cream and gold. What was it with cold worlds giving him this color to wear all the time? “Well,” he clapped. “First thing’s first! Let’s go to Santa’s workshop!” 

It took them what must have been an entire hour to get to the workshop. Xion insisted on going into every store she found interesting, and Ventus couldn’t stop taking pictures on his gummiphone. Roxas was infatuated with all the sweets and foods around them. By the time they walked up to Santa, they’d had fresh apple cider, peppermint bark, pumpkin pie, and eggnog. Sora glanced worriedly at Ven, who’d had his hand on his stomach for the past five minutes. 

“Ah! Sora! You’re here,” Santa laughed, pulling his glasses off his eyes. “And during my most busy time, no less.” 

Sora scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, sorry about that. I just wanted my family to meet you. Since it’s almost Christmas and all…” 

Santa looked at all of them and stroked his beard. “Ah, yes. They have been through quite an ordeal. Ventus, my boy, you’ve missed Christmas one too many times!” 

Ventus perked up a bit at his name being called. “Oh, yeah, sorry. I slept through it.” 

Roxas snorted at the remark, drawing Santa’s attention his way. “Oh,” the short man came closer. “You’re new! I have you on my list, but this is my first time seeing you. Roxas? Was it?”

“What?” Roxas asked, confused. “You know me?” 

Santa made a dismissive sound. “Son, do you know who I am? I’m Santa Claus. Of course I know who you are. I know all the children in all the worlds. You too, Xion. Don’t worry, my girl. You’re on my list too!” 

Xion giggled shyly. “It’s very nice to meet you Santa. But Sora said you only wrote lists for children. Aren’t we too old?” 

Santa glared at Sora. “Oh did he now? Well, that’s not as bad as telling you I don’t exist, I suppose.” 

“Sora!” Ventus chided him. 

“For the last time, it was Riku’s fault!” he defended himself, hands in front of him. “Besides, I thought that second thing was true. Do you watch the adults too?”

Santa laughed merrily, stomach bouncing with the motion. “All adults begin as children. In my eyes, they still are. So long as you listen to your heart, you have the soul of a child. A difficult task to accomplish in a world full of responsibility and challenge, but if you can manage it, I’ll be there to reward you once a year, every year, no matter your age.”

“So, like, even if you’re as old as Master Yen Sid?” Sora asked mischievously. Ventus guffawed at the question behind him. 

“Believe it or not,” Santa smiled. “Yes. I visit little Yennie every year.” 

“L-little Ye-” Ventus struggled out between laughs. Sora chuckled and thought about what Santa had told him earnestly. Last time he’d been here, the man had given him the advice he’d needed about Riku. Maybe he could help him now, too. 

“Sora,” Santa addressed him. The serious tone made Sora automatically stand to attention. The man smiled serenely at him for a few seconds before taking one of his hands in both his own. “I’m very proud of you.”

Sora blinked. 

“I want you to know that I see what you’ve accomplished. No matter what anyone says, or rather, neglects to say, you’ve done the universe a service that can never be adequately rewarded. All I can give you are objects, but we both know you need something else,” Santa mulled, gazing at Sora’s inquisitive face. “I hope this Christmas you’re brave enough to fight for your own heart. You’ve done too much for everyone elses’.” 

And no, he would not cry. Nope, it was just foggy in the room. He vaguely registered a hand resting on his arm, gentle and small, Xion’s. “Thanks,” he croaked out. “I think I needed to hear that.” 

“I know, my boy,” Santa said, patting his stomach. “Christmas is about rest and gratitude. It’s a time that encourages us to sit back and reevaluate where we are in life from a place of peace. All of you have surpassed amazing challenges to be here. Cherish one another and let each other in.” 

“We will,” Xion said. “Thanks for meeting us.” 

“Yeah,” Ventus agreed. “It feels so surreal, but I’m happy I got to meet you.” 

“Is it okay if we hang around your town for a little while?” Roxas asked, passing over the thanks. “It’s nice here.” 

“Of course! Take care of yourselves. Oh! And Ventus!”

Ventus turned around with wide eyes. “Yeah?”

“No more eggnog for you,” Santa demanded, one hand on his hip and another pointed at the blond boy. “You’re lactose intolerant.”

“I’m what?” Ventus asked, confused. 

Sora rolled his eyes and groaned. “Ven, why didn’t you tell me you can’t have milk?” 

“I can’t!” Ven said, worried. “Did something have milk?!”

Much to Roxas’s chagrin, they left soon after that. They had time for approximately one snowball fight and a group selfie before Ven said he wanted to die, prompting them to climb aboard the gummiship and make a brief stop at the Mysterious Tower for help. Yen Sid was unamused when they explained Ventus’s predicament, waving his hand to allow them a few hours' rest before taking off to the next location. It comforted him to hear that so far the worlds patrolled were reporting normal activity with no heartless in sight. 

Sora sighed and opened the door to his temporary room, planning on taking a quick shower and scrolling through Kingstagram before taking off again. He had closed the door and flung off his jacket before realising that someone else was in the room. He jolted back, pointing at the familiar boy.

“Riku!”

It shouldn’t have been so alarming. Ever since the mark of mastery exam, he and Riku had shared a room out of fear for Sora’s dreams. Xehanort’s infiltration had been a harrowing feat that even Yen Sid hadn’t anticipated, and both of them were reluctant to leave one another alone after that. When he’d come back from death, he and Riku had been disappointed to discover their dream-eater connection had dulled considerably. Sora secretly hoped he just needed time, and soon he and Riku could play again in the sleeping realm without having to dive. 

Riku blinked at him from his bed, seemingly just as surprised. His friend was wearing his normal outfit sans jacket and shoes, propped comfortably against the headboard with his phone in hand. “Uh, yeah?” he asked Sora.

Sora glanced left and right. Why was he so awkward all of the sudden? “Nothing? Um. bye?” he offered, strolling over to the bathroom and turning to close the door. Riku raised an eyebrow at him as they made eye contact again.

“Shower,” he pointed behind him. “I’m gonna. Yeah,” he finished lamely, closing the door. His face burned after the click, because the last thing he’d seen was Riku’s expression going from curious to smug and knowing and  _ he probably knew Sora liked him _ ugh -

Shower. Showers are good. 

He’d had feelings for Riku for a good, long time, but he’d never stumbled around his words like this before. Sora considered last night’s events as he ducked under the warm water. Riku’s warm form pressed against him, his whisper in his ear. 

_ “I’ll find out when I unlock your heart.”  _

Sora scrubbed his arms harder. What was wrong with him? Sora dried off and pulled his magically clean clothes back on, looking at himself in the mirror one last time before sauntering out into their bedroom. Riku was in the same position as before and glanced up at he collapsed on his own bed. 

“Hey,” he called lightly. “How’s Halloween town?” 

Sora groaned, closing his eyes. “It was kind of a disaster.” 

“Oh yeah? How come?” Riku asked. 

“Jack decided he wanted to put Easter stuff into Halloween. It took some convincing to get him to stop,” Sora explained. 

“Huh,” Riku said. “So it wasn’t because the world glamour made you wear a skirt?” 

Sora opened his eyes and slowly turned his head to Riku, who was smirking at him. 

“What?” he asked, hoping he hadn't heard his best friend right. 

“Check Kingstagram,” Riku prompted, turning fully toward him. “Xion’s been busy.” 

“Nooo,” Sora moaned, flipping over to bury his face into the pillow. “No one was supposed to see,” he said into the navy fabric.

“Don’t know what you just said Sor,” Riku laughed. His mattress bounced a bit before Sora registered that Riku sat next to him. “Wanna try that again?”

Sora huffed, turning just enough to free his mouth and get a view of Riku. “No one was supposed to see.” He groaned again, digging his gummiphone out of his pocket and opening Kingstagram. Whelp, there it was. While they’d been arguing about something, Xion had got a group selfie that showed off most of their glamors. The next four pictures were candid close ups of each of them, ending in a photo that was definitely taken by Ventus of Xion herself. 

**We had quite the scare with our clothes in #Halloweentown. I liked it, but the others**

**were a little disgruntled. #sorrysora #halloween #eggs? #keybladeweilders**

Sora pouted at his own close up. She’d captured a moment where he was twirling his hair and thinking. Jack’s long arm was sticking out of the frame, which made him think it was during their heart-to-heart about the meaning of Easter. He didn’t look bad. Just different. “Hey Riku?” he asked, thumbing the ridges of his phone. 

“Yeah?” Riku answered, turning more fully toward him. 

“Do you think I look bad in this picture?” he asked, heart pounding. Riku leaned over him and his heart started to beat even faster with their proximity. 

Riku chuckled. “Well, I prefer pictures of you with your goofy smile. But this one isn’t too bad.” 

“Riku,” he muttered irritably. 

“What?” 

“I mean what I’m wearing,” Sora specified, hoisting himself onto an elbow. 

Riku blinked before laughing at him in disbelief. “Sora, you think I care what you wear? The only reason I brought it up was because Xion also streamed your freak out over it.” 

“She what?” Sora asked. “How did she even find the opportunity to do that?” 

Riku ignored his question, instead looking into his eyes and sighing. “Sora, do you really think I’d care about something like that? After you accepted me in Ansem’s body back at The World that Never Was?” 

Sora averted his eyes from Riku’s earnest, searching gaze. “I dunno. Maybe?” 

“Hey, look at me,” Riku requested. Sora did, biting his lip uncertainty. Riku had his serious face on, which never failed to make Sora melt. “You could take any form you wanted, and I’d still be here. You know that right?” Riku asked. 

Sora swallowed. “Not any form. Otherwise you wouldn’t be able to recognize me.” 

“Oh yes I would,” Riku fought. “Because my heart knows yours.” Sora’s heart seemed to recognize the statement, pounding firmly in his chest as Riku’s hand came to rest on it like it was home. “Do you trust me with your heart, Sora?” 

Sora looked up into Riku’s comforting teal eyes and scoffed. “Of course I do.” 

“Then let me unlock it, tonight,” Riku requested. 

Sora frowned. “I’m not going to be here. I have an assignment at -”

“The Castle of Dreams, I know,” Riku finished. “But if you request to stay there, I can come see you and we can do it there. I’d rather not be in the tower for this, just in case Yen Sid gets wind and decides to cancel the whole idea.” 

Sora placed his hand over Riku’s, over his own heart. “Yeah, okay. I have a new phone now, so I’ll text you when we’re done.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Riku muttered as if distracted, glancing at spots on his face curiously. They sat like that for a moment, taking each other in without words before a banging at their door made them jolt up. 

“Sora,” Roxas called. “We’re leaving with or without you!” 

“Y-yeah okay!” Sora responded, jumping off the bed as if he’d done something wrong. “I’m coming!” He sent Riku an apologetic look before abruptly deciding to hug him, taking in the sandalwood scent for two seconds before running out the door of their room. 

Tonight. Tonight Riku would help him fix his problem. 


	2. Silver Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cinderella's castle tests the limits of Sora and company's friendship.   
> Spoiler: It could use some leveling up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I should just rename the whole series to "Angst"

“So what were you doing with Riku?” Roxas asked as soon as he closed the door to his bedroom. Sora side-eyed him, moving quickly down the many stairs. 

“Does it matter?” Sora asked suspiciously. 

“Nah,” Roxas responded, trotting down next to him. “But your hair’s a mess and your face is red. Just thought I’d ask.” 

Sora brought a hand up to straighten his hair, staring pointedly away. “Nothing. We were just talking.” 

“Uh, huh,” Roxas smirked. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you guys looking at each other. Well, I don’t think anyone exists that hasn’t noticed.” 

“Noticed what?” Ventus asked as they burst through the front doors of the tower. 

“Sora and Riku making stupid eyes at each other,” Roxas answered easily, hands in his pockets. “Sora’s denying it.” 

“Oh,” Ven frowned, following a speed-walking Sora to the gummiship. “Wait, are they not together? Like together-together? I thought they were!”

“Can you stop?!” Sora yelled, entering the ship and taking a seat. Xion smiled apologetically and sat next to him. At least one of his heart companions wasn’t a jerk about everything. 

“Yeah, yeah. I give it a month,” Roxas laughed, sitting in his seat. He turned to Ventus and whispered conspiratorially, “That’s when Riku’s gonna have to stay in the islands for school, and Sora’s gonna be training under Yen Sid. They’ll break for sure.” 

The star map in front of him unfocused with the weight of that statement. Roxas was right. The holidays were the last time he’d be with Riku and Kairi and, well, everyone, for a long time. His friends had their own lives, he chided himself, selecting Cinderella's world on the map and pressing Begin. The cosmos around them shifted as Sora blasted off, thinking about how terrible things had been before the keyblade war but also how wonderful it was to be with everyone, together. The asteroids passed by silently as Sora tuned out the idle chatter of his friends, feeling the telltale weight of sadness in his chest. 

“Uh, guys?” Xion asked uncertainty. 

The cockpit quieted until Roxas eloquently followed with, “What the fuck?” 

Sora looked back to investigate and clutched the wheel harder at the sight of his floating Kingdom Key. Oh no.

“Sora, you said this wasn’t gonna happen again?” Ventus half-asked, tentatively reaching out a hand to the weapon. 

“Didn’t the King help you?” Xion asked, gaze searching. Sora turned his attention back to the stars, wishing The Castle of Dreams was closer. 

“Sora, c’mon. We just wanna help,” Roxas explained, arms crossed. 

Sora pursed his lips and sighed a little, wondering if he could get away with feigning ignorance. But he had told the spirit in Ahtollahan that he’d try to be better. If he couldn’t tell the previous residents of his own heart what was going on, what hope did he have of surviving the night with Riku seeing his bare emotions? Sora gulped and set the gummiship to autopilot silently. 

“Um, that’s been happening lately,” Sora whispered to the cockpit. “It’s not a huge deal. The keyblade just kinda, pops up sometimes?”

“Kinda?” Ventus interrogated at the same time Xion asked, “Lately?” 

He sighed again, turning to face them more directly. “Yeah. Ever since I got back, it’s been doing this every so often. King Mickey pulled me aside and told me to take it easy. Apparently it’s happened to some wielders before, but he didn’t know a fool-proof solution. So…” he trailed off lamely.

“Why does it happen,” Roxas half-demanded. 

“I don’t know,” Sora frowned at his tone. 

“Liar,” Roxas accused, narrowing his eyes. “Tell the truth.” 

Sora glared at him, all at once loving and hating his Other. “Fine. It’s when I’m upset or sad. It just kinda appears, okay?” 

“You’re sad?” Xion asked him, leaning forward in concern. “What happened? Are you okay?” 

Ventus mirrored her expression and pose, making Sora smile at the similarity. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he assured them. 

“Then why is the keyblade here?” Ventus fought back, lip stiff in stubbornness. 

“Because we brought up Riku leaving,” Roxas said with no amount of uncertainty. “That was my bad. Sorry.” 

The amount of genuine regret Sora could hear in Roxas’s apology was surprising. A quick glance at Xion and Ventus showed similar reactions. “It’s ok,” he offered to Roxas. “I need to get used to it eventually.” A silence descended on the cabin until Xion looked back up at the floating weapon. 

“So, is this going to keep happening?” she delicately posed. 

“I found a possible way to fix it,” Sora insisted. “It’ll take Riku’s help and a whole lot of honesty that I’m not ready for. But it’ll stop soon.” 

“And it started because?” Ventus began the answer, moving his hands to suggest Sora finish.

“I think,” Sora nervously looked between the three of them. “I think it’s because you guys left. My heart,” he theorized, touching his chest. “My heart is emptier without you all there, and I think it’s not as strong either. There are holes now, where darkness can seep in easier. I think the keyblade keeps alerting me whenever it takes a stronger hold.”

“To knock you out of it,” Roxas surmised. “Like a reminder.” 

“Yeah,” Sora nodded. “But again, it isn’t a big deal.” 

“Um, yeah it is!” Ventus asserted, jumping out his seat. “Sora, why didn’t you tell us? Out of everyone, wouldn’t we be...” he trailed off, losing steam. 

Sora looked from him, to Xion, and then to Roxas. Why didn’t he tell them? He looked down at his hands unsurely. “I don’t know. Maybe I was scared? Maybe a little embarrassed?” 

“You should never feel embarrassed about how you feel, Sora,” Xion comforted. “You help people and never make them feel bad about it. You’ve helped me like this countless times since I got my body.” 

“It’s different,” Sora defended, hands clenched into fists. 

“How?” Roxas challenged, eyes hard. 

“Because I’m not supposed to need saving!” Sora burst. The keyblade shined a little brighter for a few seconds, dimming only when his breathing returned to normal. His three companions sat silently. “And I didn’t until the mark of mastery exam,” he murmured. “I messed that one up.” 

A beeping noise altered them to an approaching world, their destination. Landing prompts appeared on the screen, which Sora took that as an easy escape from the conversation. Roxas didn’t get the memo. 

“Your reasoning is shit,” Roxas muttered, pushing back one of his spikes. “Can’t believe this.” 

Sora pursed his lips and landed in front of the fully lit castle decked out in blue, pink, and yellow Christmas lights. “You don’t get to judge me,” he muttered back. “You may have been in my heart for a while, but that doesn’t mean you know all of it.” That seemed to stun his Other. He turned off the engine and hopped out into the chilly night air, breathing in so it burned his warm throat. He recalled Ryder’s method of calming down. In and out, slow and even slower. 

His companions were taking longer than usual to exit the ship (probably because they were talking about him), so he started up the grand stairs to the castle entrance first, looking around at the lights appreciatively. He’d never been here before, but he’d heard stories from Ven and Aqua about how beautiful everything was. Two guards lowered their spears to cut off his path before he could get too far. 

“What business do you have with his Majesty?” one of them asked politely, a red feather atop his hat fluttering. 

“Oh, uh, my name is Sora. I’m a friend of Cinderella’s? We’re here on business,” Sora said, looking back to see his three friends climbing up the staircase. Xion looked like she was heatedly trying to convince Roxas of something that he didn’t want to hear. 

“Understood,” the guard said, nodding to someone behind the barricade. A messenger bolted down the hallway to where Sora expected Cinderella was. By the time the princess had walked up to him, his three companions had closed the distance. Sora pointedly did not engage in their discussion about the castle’s decor, thinking it a ruse to get him to talk. 

“Sora! It’s so nice to see you! And Ven! It’s been ages,” Cinderella chimed, tone lilting in a way that only singer’s voices did. She embraced Sora and then Roxas, who looked at her in confusion. She locked eyes with Xion and Ventus and backed away to look at Roxas again. “Oh, are there two Vens?” 

Ventus laughed and strolled up to her, hand scratching the back of his head. “It’s me! Sorry. That’s Roxas. We look similar, huh?” 

Cinderella hugged Ven and laughed. “Yes! You look like twins. And who are you?” 

Xion smiled and politely bowed. “My name is Xion. It’s very nice to meet you, your highness!” 

Cinderella waved off the greeting. “Oh none of that. Don’t let these clothes fool you. I’m used to be a maid, you know.” 

“Really?” Xion asked, as if Ven hadn’t already told her Cinderella’s whole story. “I’d love to hear how you got here.” 

Cinderella laced their arms together. “Yes! Let’s go have tea, why don’t we?” 

“Actually,” Sora interrupted with a wince. “We’re here on business first. Has everything been okay? We’ve heard some accounts of new creatures lurking around.” 

Cinderella clapped her hands in relief. “Yes! Oh, thank the stars you’re here. There have been more of those monsters in our woods, the ones Ven, Aqua, and Terra had to stop a long time ago.” 

“Huh,” Ven cocked his head. “They look similar to the unversed? The monsters from back then?”

“No,” Cinderella said with certainty. “They’re exactly the same!” 

Ven frowned, looking at the rest of them in worry. “That’s impossible. Those came from…” 

“But I thought he died during the final battle,” Xion offered. 

“We’ll check it out,” Roxas said to Cinderella. “Don’t worry.” 

“It’s quite late,” she glanced outside at the dark wood beyond the castle. “Are you sure you want to go now? We have rooms here you can stay in.” 

“Thanks,” Sora chirped, happy he didn’t have to ask. “But it’s easier to track them down in their element, darkness. Plus, I assume you guys are getting ready for some kind of Christmas celebration, right? I’d be better to get rid of these things before all your guests arrive.” 

Cinderella ran a hand through Sora’s hair fondly. “Oh, Sora. Yes, thank you so much. I really wish there was a way to contact you directly whenever something like this happens. It’s such a hassle to wait and hope that you’ve tracked these things down for us.” 

Sora hummed in apology. “I know. I wish I could do something about that. But for now, we’ve gotta get going.” 

“I will prepare your rooms for when you get back!” Cinderella affirmed, waving goodbye. “Be careful!” 

He could feel the tension between the four of them, some of it from their argument in the gummiship and some it from the possibility of Vanitas having come back to life. Sora had simultaneously wished for and against being the part of the group assigned to Castle of Dreams, because yeah, he already knew Vanitas existed. Yeah, he’d been the one to bring him back. No, he didn’t tell a soul. And what was he going to do when they caught up with his look-alike? Were they going to kill him, after all that?

Sora launched his fears into a pack of thornbites, hoping against hope that Vanitas had already left the world. He vaguely heard Roxas cast stopga behind him as Xion zoomed past with sonic blade, all making quick work of the small fry around them. A back pressed against his, making him jolt before calming at the sight of Ventus smiling at him. 

“I got your back, Sora,” He said easily, twirling Stroke of Midnight. “Always.” 

Sora grinned back, feeling the awful ball in his chest finally releasing. “Yeah, and I got yours.” 

When the clearing was free of the unversed, they regrouped into a tight circle to plan their next course of action. Ventus nodded his head in thought. “Okay, so if Vanitas is here we need to find him.” 

“Then what?” a playful voice asked close by. They whirled around to see Vanitas himself atop a high branch, one leg propped up, the other swinging freely. “You gonna kill me? Again?” 

“Yeah we are!” Roxas asserted, re-summoning Pain of Solitude and Oathkeeper. “We did it once. How hard could it be?” Xion readied True Light’s Flight beside him. Ventus seemed frozen, eyes locked on his other half. 

“Vanitas,” Sora pleaded. “Please don’t.” 

“Don’t what?” Roxas asked Sora. “Why are you talking to him like that?” 

“Vanitas,” he repeated, ignoring Roxas in favor of meeting his look-alike’s uncaring eyes. “Please. Just go.” 

“Go?!” Roxas demanded rather than questioned. “Sora, what the hell are you saying? You want him to wreak havoc on some other world?” 

“You aren’t surprised,” Ventus said to Sora, still staring at his other half. “You knew he was alive?” 

Sora bit his lip, clutching Starlight for support. “Yeah. I did.” 

“What?” Roxas spat, whirling around to him. “Are you fucking with me, Sora?!” 

“He isn’t,” Vanitas answered, floating down to the ground complacently and stretching his arms overhead. “He’s the one who saved me, actually.” 

“You’re lying!” Xion shouted. “He’d never do that!” 

Unexpectedly, she was the one who made the first hit. Vanitas looked at her in happy surprise before dodging the upward strike, laughing gamely. Roxas yelled a battle cry and joined her, both attempting to predict his teleport locations before he landed. Sora made a noise of dismay.

“No! Guys please stop!” he called out uselessly, hand outstretched. He turned to Ventus, who was watching the scene play out blankly. “Ven, please. We gotta stop them!” 

“Why did you do it?” Ventus asked without taking his attention off the battle. “Why’d you save him?”

“I don’t know,” Sora responded, agitated. “But this is the worst time to ask. We gotta-”

“You answer will help me decide what to do in this battle, Sora,” Ventus interjected, finally turning to meet him with serious eyes. “Why did you save him?”

Sora blinked. Looking back at Vanitas in thought. “It didn’t feel right not to,” he admitted. “It felt like giving up on him was like giving up on a part of me. It’s hard to explain, but for some reason, I understood him. Especially in Shibuya. We understood each other without having to say anything.” He straightened up to consider Ventus. “Everyone deserves another chance. And I wanted him to find something to live for. I didn’t think he’d be doing stuff like this still.” 

“Would you change your mind?” Ventus asked as he observed Xion and Roxas’s dual strike attack. “If you knew what you know now, would you not save him?” 

Sora bit his lip as they landed a critical hit on his look-alike. “No. I’m still saving him, even now.” 

They stood in silence for a second before Sora couldn’t take it anymore, jumping into the fray to block Xion’s strike that surely would’ve hit Vanitas. Xion looked at their connected keyblades in shock. “Sora, what?” 

A blur to his right had him stepping back and parrying Roxas’s Oathkeeper. “Roxas, stop!” he called, wincing at the strength behind the hits. Vanitas was recovering slowly on the ground behind him. Sora hoped he’d get off the floor before he had to move further away. “Roxas, I’m not gonna hit you. Stop it!” 

“No, you stop! This guy has done terrible things to all of us! Especially Ven! How can you stand there and defend him?” he yelled, bringing down his keyblade at an angle and knocking Starlight out of his hand. Sora gasped on his knees, feeling an odd sense of deja vu as Roxas pointed Oathkeeper at him. “Move, Sora.” 

“Roxas, Sora, there’s no reason to fight!” Xion yelled at them.

“No, you move!” countered Sora. “You’re gonna have to hurt me, Roxas.” 

They stared at each other, stubborn till the end. He saw a flash of something and reacted quickly, sliding on the ground so hard that he felt the telltale sting of scapes on his legs. He’d just barely rolled Vanitas out of Xion’s firaga spell before Roxas was swinging at his look alike again. 

Honestly, he didn’t feel it at first. Sora was concerned with getting Vanitas out of the way and pushed him, not quite registering the downward projection of one of Roxas’s most powerful attacks - Spot beam. The lights converged on the area where Vanitas was a second before, where he was now. The ringing in his ears was disabling as he crashed into the wet leaves of the forest. Everything seemed to move slowly, blurry, as he registered panicked hands flipping him gently on his back. A curaga was cast above, but he was still dizzy. He turned his head away from the busy scene above him.

To his right he could see Vanitas a distance away, fully recovered and standing. His look-alike seemed outright shocked, maybe even worried, but made no moves to come closer. Sora smiled at him and mouthed ‘go’. Vanitas squinted his eyes as if this confused him before running into the plush greenery. 

“-ra! Sora can you hear me?” Xion’s choppy voice called to him. He looked up again to see her in tears. “Please, Sora. I’m so sorry!” 

He winced at the pressure in his head before raising a hand up and petting her head as a silent ‘I’m okay.’ She seemed to crumble at the gesture and buried her face into his shirt. Sora had to open and close his eyes several times to make sure he was seeing Roxas and Ventus correctly, instead of double of the same person. They were both angry and yelling two feet away. 

“-so dangerous! Did you not care that he was there?” Ventus yelled, hands waving sharply at his twin. 

“Of course I did! How was I supposed to know he’d put himself in Vanitas’s place?!” Roxas yelled back, just as infuriated. 

“Because it’s Sora!” Ventus raised a fist at him. “You know he’d do that for someone he was protecting!” 

“That doesn’t make any sense! Why is he protecting him?” Roxas said indignantly, roughly pushing aside Ven’s fist. “And don’t wave your shit in my face.” 

“Oh yeah? Maybe don’t attack Sora, you fucking-” Ventus shoved his twin, who eagerly returned the action. Alright, they’d all gone too far. Sora groaned, rising to his elbows and prompting Xion to sit up too. She sniffled at him as he got to his feet clumsily, making his way to his fighting friends. 

“That’s enough!” he said, hoping his voice was loud enough to cut across their bickering. He growled when it wasn’t and tried again, hearing the echo of his agitation across the clearing. 

They stopped, staring at him with mirroring wide eyes.

Ventus was first to move, coming up to him and throwing on of his arms over his shoulder. “Hey, you shouldn’t be up!” Roxas reached his own hand out but aborted the motion halfway, staring down at the floor instead. 

“I’ll take him to the castle to rest,” Ventus said to Xion and Roxas. “Can you two patrol the area and make sure we got all the unversed?” Xion nodded while Roxas said nothing, crossing his arms uncomfortably. “And if you see Vanitas,” Ventus cautioned, “Don’t engage.” He took the silence as an affirmative and began moving Sora gently out of the clearing. Trees just beyond seemed to blur together in strange shapes. He blinked again and again to clear them, but couldn’t unhinge his eyelids.


	3. Sleep in Heavenly Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns out fixing Sora's heart requires unearthing some information and revealing weaknesses that he didn't want Riku to know about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of part 2! Last installment will be posted soon. Happy reading <3

The world was soft and warm. He could hear rain against a window somewhere, and firewood crackling softly. Footsteps seemed to come closer to him before stopping. A breathy sigh of resignation followed. Sora furrowed his eyebrows. He knew that voice. More shuffling noises occurred just beyond his awareness, meaning nothing until there was a dip in the surface below him and a gentle hand brushing hair from his forehead. He moaned at the sudden touch, feeling the hand freeze before continuing. When he had enough strength of will to pry his eyes open, his heart lurched. 

“Riku? Is that you?” he asked the silver and black blob in front of him. It paused, taking its hand back and intertwining it in his. 

“Yeah, Sora. I’m here,” Riku said calmly. 

Sora blinked rapidly, each time seeing more of Riku come into focus, until he could see overtly concerned eyes trained on him. “Oh, what are you doing here?” he asked his best friend, trying to sit up. 

“You never texted me about tonight, but Roxas called,” he explained while placing a hand on Sora’s chest and pushing down in silent demand. Sora acquiesced, settling back but still wired. 

“He told me there was an accident,” Riku explained. “He said I should come and make sure you were okay.” 

“Roxas never talks to you,” he commented to Riku, who squeezed his hand tighter.

“I know, that’s why I came as fast as I could,” his best friend assured him. “What happened?” 

Sora didn’t know where to start. He didn’t know if he could start. Instead, he swallowed nothing and bit his lip. “Riku, let’s unlock my heart now.” 

Riku shook his head. “Sora, you’re injured. We can’t just - “

“Yeah we can,” he interrupted, closing his eyes in exhaustion. “Roxas accidentally attacked me.” 

The silence was telling, so he kept his eyes closed. Riku and Roxas had never gotten along, even on the best of days. Sora chalked it up to the way they’d met, on his need for recovery in the pod. He just didn’t want to add fuel to the fire.

“Why?” Riku asked, voice low and level. 

“Uh,” Sora scrambled, scratching his throat. “I just - he...Vanitas is back.”

Riku said nothing. 

“And it’s because I helped him come back.” 

More silence. 

“Roxas kept trying to hurt him, so I defended. And well,” Sora laughed. “This kinda happened.” 

Riku shifted and let go of his hand. Sora felt that absence like a warm blanket being ripped off his body, like he was in the wasteland of snow in Arendelle, like he was alone again in the final world. “Sorry,” he whispered, though he couldn’t articulate what for. 

“You never told me,” Riku stated. It was hard to place his tone without looking at him. His eyes were always a giveaway. It was why Sora abhorred that stupid blindfold he’d used during their days apart. 

“Evidently, there’s a lot I never told you,” Sora responded gently, as if the sentence would send his best friend into a flying rage. It didn’t. Riku didn’t move, said nothing more. They stayed like that until Sora couldn’t bear it and pried his eyes open. 

Riku wasn’t looking at him, but through the wall opposite the bed. The flames of the fireplace were once again in his eyes, juxtaposing the coldness of his expression. Sora blinked back blurry vision, willing himself not to cry. People didn’t cry when they thought they upset their best friends. He needed to be stronger than this. Riku’s gaze shifted sharply to the bright glow appearing to their side, becoming a keyblade of his distress. 

Sora bit his lip and turned his head away from the light, hating himself all over again for the situation he was in. Riku inhaled quietly and then released his breath the same way, reminding Sora of Ryder’s breathing lessons. “Okay,” Riku suddenly said, making Sora jolt in surprise. 

“Let’s unlock that heart of yours.” 

Sora rolled over again to face Riku, who returned his eyes to the wall across from them. “You sure?” Sora asked, unconvinced. 

“Yeah,” Riku confirmed. “Why not?” 

And the thing was, Sora trusted Riku. He really, _really_ did. Riku had seen him grow up, had saved him from enemies, the world, himself. Riku had literally traversed the darkness for him and spent an entire year doing things he would never do to ensure his survival. He’d sacrificed himself in the Keyblade Graveyard and gone after him in Shibuya when Sora had taken too long to return. He’d come even now, at the barest hint of an emergency. 

But this didn’t feel right. 

It didn’t feel like it did the night before, with Riku’s kind eyes on his, or his smirk turned toward him. He was close but not embracing him. He was speaking to him, but not gently or fondly. Sora didn’t feel 100% safe, something that was startling in its realization as it was in its actuality. 

“I don’t want to,” Sora confessed quietly. 

“Really?” Riku asked blankly. “Why? You just said you wanted to. Decided to keep all your secrets or something?” 

Sora flinched at the tone, which was a little too close to Ansem-possessed Riku for his comfort. “No, I want to show you. I just-” 

“Just what?” Riku scoffed cruelly. “Just don’t feel brave enough to show me now?” 

Sora’s stomach sunk low, body heavy with dread over the return of a Riku he thought no longer existed. He didn’t respond, biting his lip to muffle his heavy breathing and digging his fingernails into his palms to distract himself. “I think you should go,” he forced out, breath hitching at the end before he could seal his lips closed again. 

Riku didn’t react to his words until the hitch, suddenly sitting ramrod straight and whirling toward him, eyes broken from the apathetic stare. Sora buried his face firmed against the blankets, thanking his hair for hiding the other side of his eyes easily. Warm fingers brushed it away before he could enjoy the darkness, welcoming back in the fire's light and Riku’s suddenly concerned visage. 

“Sora,” he breathed, fingers swiping his tear tracks. “Why are you crying?”

“Because,” he said, voice breaking embarrassingly halfway through the word. “You’re scaring me.” 

Maybe those were the magic words, all this time. Riku flinched as if Sora had struck him, letting his spikes move back into their original place and obscuring his vision. Sora couldn’t remember a time where things felt like this between them, when Sora was so distressed and Riku wanted to help but didn’t seem to know how. When they were kids and Sora would get injured, Riku would honest-to-god _kiss_ his injuries - a trick he’d learned from his mom. Sora’s mom never did that, so Sora assumed it was a thing he and Riku did for each other. One day a few kids saw and made fun of them for it. Riku never, ever did it again. This felt like the day after that, when Sora had been waiting for the kiss and Riku had paused, torn, before telling him it’d be alright and awkwardly held his hand instead. 

This was what rejection felt like. 

“You’re scaring me too,” Riku whispered so low that Sora almost couldn’t catch it. “How can I protect you if you’re hiding a whole other part of yourself from me?” 

“Maybe the time for protecting me is over,” Sora offered, bitter and aching. “Maybe this keyblade thing is something I need to live with. Not like you’ll be around to see it, anyway.” 

Riku angrily glanced back at him, eyes bright with indignation. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Sora mockingly began. “It means that soon you’ll be on Destiny Islands permanently and I’ll be with Master Yen Sid. Soon we’ll be distant friends that hardly see each other and when you introduce me to new people you’ll say, ‘oh yeah, this is Sora, my childhood friend.’” 

Riku narrowed his eyes dangerously. “Are you kidding me, Sora? Do you really think after everything that’s happened I’d just let us drift away from each other?”

Sora sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “Does it matter right now? Point is, I don’t think unlocking my heart is a great idea.” 

“I think it is,” Riku fought, placing a hand on either side of his head. “And I think you’re backing out because you're scared. You’re scared I won’t like what I see and I’ll push you away, because of how I just acted when you confessed to bringing Vanitas back.” 

Sora shifted uncomfortably, shoving at Riku and cursing his very hard, muscular chest. “So? It proves I’m right.” 

“It does not,” Riku growled, taking Sora’s wrists in one hand and pinning them above his head for good measure. “I’m human, Sora. I’m going to react but you’ve gotta help me understand why you did things before judging my immediate reaction.”

“You’re gonna hate me!” Sora shouted at him.

“Literally nothing could make me hate you!” Riku yelled back. “You could do everything Xehanort has done and I still wouldn’t hate you!” 

“Liar!” Sora bucked his hips to throw his best friend off. It didn’t work. “How’s that even possible?!”

“Because,” Riku grit out. “I’d follow you into hell. Oh wait, I did. Or did you forget that conveniently?” 

Sora yelled at nothing, exhausted, before giving in and sinking into the mattress below him. He sniffled pitifully, hating how prone he was to outbursts nowadays. “Fine,” he whispered. “Just do what you want.” 

His lip wobbled as he watched Riku’s emotions flash from one to another, anger to sadness, resignation to determination, before releasing his wrists and bodily hoisting him into his chest. Sora blinked at the sudden embrace, setting aside his tiff with Riku in favor of seeking comfort from the one he trusted most. 

“Sora,” Riku murmured. “I’m not going to unlock your heart if you’re afraid of me. But I am frustrated that you are. Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” 

Sora sighed at the return of gentle Riku, feeling a hand carding slowly through his hair. God, he never wanted to feel that way ever again. “Can we never do that again?” 

“Do what never again?” Riku asked, pulling away just enough to stare down at him. “Argue?”

Sora nodded and sniffed, looking up at him earnestly. “It feels like my world is ending.” 

Riku’s face made a strange expression, like the statement had resonated with him too. Sora could swear his eyes looked glossier than normal when he was pulled back into the embrace. 

“Yeah,” Riku said. “We’ll never do that again.” 

They basked in each other's presence, Riku holding onto him tight and Sora clutching his leather jacket with both his hands. A substantial amount of time seemed to pass, the rain still falling outside the windows, before Sora pulled back and said, “Let’s do this.” 

Riku smiled at him but didn’t let go, shifting Sora’s weight to support him with one arm around his waist. Braveheart appeared in the other, lighting up the room briefly before settling into Riku’s hand. “Alright,” Riku affirmed, smirking at him. “Think it works the same way as the dark keyblade did?” 

“It’s gotta,” Sora offered, taking the edge of Braveheart and bringing it to touch the center of his chest. “I don’t see how else it’d work.” 

Riku paused here, looking from the tip of Braveheart back to Sora’s face as if he’d just thought of something difficult. Sora laughed. “Don’t worry Riku, I know you won’t kill me. Go ahead.” 

Riku inhaled and closed his eyes, focusing on the wellspring of light inside of him - The part of him that was still connected to Sora by what was left of their dream-eater link. The part that Sora used to find him in the Realm of Darkness. Braveheart’s tip began to shine a gentle gold, casting shadows on their faces. Sora closed his eyes, feeling a light permeate his heart that felt remarkably like his best friend, knocking on a door to his soul. He breathed out and released the cords, allowing Riku to flow into him and warm every inch of his body. He gasped at the sensation, hearing Riku do the same, before being pulled under into deep sleep. 

His station of awakening was in the same condition as it was in Ahtohallan, fractured. He touched his shoes down onto it, walking around patiently. 

“Sora,” Riku’s voice breathed out in concern. “What happened?” 

Sora turned to see Riku staring at a fracture in his station, face overcome with worry. “I told you. Those are all gaps from the people that left, and I think some dark parts of me took root to fill it in. It’s not ideal, but it isn’t as bad as it looks!” 

Riku frowned deeper and surveyed the station. “There are four fractures. So one for Ventus, Xion, Roxas, and…?” 

“Vanitas,” he finished. “Well, technically he was inside Ven, who was inside me. But in a heart that doesn’t really matter, I guess. He was still technically there, still had influence in some ways.” 

Riku processed the idea and nodded. “Okay, so we fix the fractures then? How do we do that?” 

Sora sighed. “I don’t know, honestly. The spirit showed you unlocking my heart but nothing after that.” 

Riku hummed and walked over to a fracture near his feet, bending down to inspect the hole. He reached his hand out and let out a gasp at the sudden surface resistance that let out a bright light, engulfing them both. When Sora regained his vision, images made of his memories were once again floating around the station. Riku peered around curiously. “What is all this?”

“Uh, my memories, I think,” Sora answered, frowning as a few frames came down. Riku walked up to the first one, an image of a coconut tree, and summoned oathkeeper. Sora jolted at the shock that went through him as Riku unlocked the memory, prompting it to play in front of them like a video on screen. 

Sora was climbing the coconut tree, panting for breath in the summer sun. He looked back to see Riku cheering him on. Then, suddenly, the picture went into static, then flickered into frames of him on the ground, then static again. 

“I remember this,” Riku said, looking back at him. “This is when you fell off that tree to get the stupid seagull egg. You dislocated something.” 

“Yeah,” Sora said, frowning. “But what does that got to do with the keyblade?” 

Riku shrugged as the frame left them to return to the flurry of his memory. Riku moved on to the next one, a dark, stormy Destiny Islands. Riku unlocked the memory, prompting the shock in his body once again. Sora’s breath hitched as he realized what the memory was. It was the night the heartless took over Destiny Islands and started his whole journey. 

He saw Riku on the play island, and his hand outstretched to him. Sora averted his gaze from the scene, absolutely hating the context. The feed fuzzed as he tried to reach Riku, then turned into static until he had the keyblade in hand, and then it fuzzed again, until he was waking up in traverse town.

It ended abruptly, before Pluto had even gotten to him. Riku turned back to him. “Any ideas?”

Sora sighed. “None.” 

Riku walked over to the next one and froze. “I think I have a theory,” he said, unlocking the frame of Castle Oblivion. Sora winced at the montage of his memories being taken, of not recognizing Riku, or Kairi, of thinking Namine was someone he’d known his whole life. He knew these existed somewhere inside of him, the fake life that Namine wove during her dalliance with the organization. But there was something painful in watching him lose such integral parts of himself. 

It ended quickly with Sora stuck in the egg-shaped pod, comatose. Riku didn’t hesitate to move on to the last frame with an image of the Mysterious Tower. He unlocked it without thinking twice. Yen Sid encouraging Sora to regain his abilities and the power of waking appeared on the screen. Then it shifted into another instance in which he said the same thing, and another time he said the same thing, and when King Mickey said it, when Riku had said it, when he’d lamented to Donald and Goofy over losing it all and they’d brushed him off. 

Sora choked at those, rushing over to Riku and immediately making excuses. “Riku, I don’t know why-” 

“Shut up Sora,” Riku said distractedly, pushing him to the side to see the memories more clearly. 

And Sora realized why. Playing now was a conversation he’d had with Neku in Shibuya, before Riku had gotten there. Oh, no. He couldn’t let Riku see this. 

“So you’d consider not going back?” Neku asked him, headphones pulled down off his ears for a change. 

“Yeah,” Past Sora answered after a long moment, scratching his arm. 

Present Sora panicked, wrapping his arms around Riku’s waist and pushing off the balls of his feet. Riku grunted and took a step back, but otherwise didn’t move. 

“How come? Aren’t your friends your power or whatever?” Neku asked teasingly. 

Past Sora chuckled in a way that didn’t suit him. “Not sure if that’s a good thing anymore.” 

“Why not?” Neku raised an eyebrow in interest. 

“They all think I’m stupid,” Past Sora laughed bitterly. “I lose my memory, my abilities, my powers so often that they think I’m naturally a ditz, when really it’s because my head was messed with so much that I can’t think straight sometimes.” 

“Fuck,” Present Sora muttered fearfully, tearing up again and pushing at Riku again desperately. Riku took another step back but was bracing against him. “Riku please, let’s stop.” 

“They think because I believe in the light that it means I’m stupid or naïve. Well, I’m not. And I’m tired of being treated that way. After everything I’ve done?” Past Sora scoffed. “What a joke.” 

“What about that one friend you were looking for last time? The one Joshua knew? He’s cool right?” Neku asked, hand propped on his hip. 

Past Sora hesitated. “You know, sometimes I think he thinks the same of me too. If I didn’t go back, started over somewhere, maybe I could be someone else for a change.” He gave a watery laugh. “Sounds horrible, doesn’t it?” 

The frame ended, flying back up to the flurry with a whistling breeze. Sora stayed buried in Riku’s chest, the cold zippers of his jacket touching his red cheeks. A moment passed between them as Sora registered that he was breathing loudly. Too loud. His heart was in his ears and the world was really spinny. Could you get a panic attack in your own heart?

“Sora,” Riku said finally. “Sora, look at me.” 

He refused, shaking his head and burrowing further into Riku’s white shirt. Riku took him by the shoulders and pried him off, making unwanted air hit his watery eyes. 

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” Riku said to him, emphasizing each word. “No one thinks you’re stupid and we all understand what you’ve been through.” 

“No, you don’t,” Sora argued. 

“Yes-”

“No, you don’t!” Sora interrupted. “How could you when I can’t even tell what memories are real or not? Sometimes I forget things I should’ve remembered and bring up things that never happened. Do you know how hard that is? To feel like you’ve got fake experiences inside of you? Fake moments that no one else will understand? That’ll never actually go away?”

He saw Riku’s eyes shining, and it incensed him. “You don’t! You don’t at all! Maybe Xion does, and maybe that’s why she’s never looked down on me, or joked about me being slow or dumb. She lives with that challenge everyday and no asks _her_ to have to be anything. Riku, I don’t want to be that person anymore but everyone keeps shoving me into it-” 

Riku’s arms were around him again and around him tight. Sora grunted at the lack of air in my lungs but soldiered through it. “Never again then,” Riku promised, voice low. “If anyone suggests that to you, or makes you feel bad for not remembering something, I swear I’ll make sure they never do it again.” 

Sora scoffed. “How?” 

Riku released him and stared into his eyes. Sora was taken aback by how angry he seemed. “I don’t know, but I know that no one is allowed to make you feel that way. I admit, I let those comments go by. I shouldn’t have. But I thought maybe you didn’t mind it.”

Sora sniffled. “Well, it’s the only thing I could think of to break those hard moments between everyone. Make a stupid remark, joke about something, suggest a terrible idea...then everyone is all ‘oh Sora’s so silly but we like him’.” 

Riku frowned deeper at his explanation. “It isn’t your job to keep all of us afloat.” 

“Isn’t it?” Sora countered, looking up at Riku wryly. “Who else will do it?”

A tremor below them broke the tension, drawing their attention downward. Sora backed away as the large fracture that Riku had touched rebuilt itself, leaving three fractures left. They stood silently, examining the other holes and breathing softly. “I don’t want to do that again,” Sora admitted, feeling vulnerable beyond belief. 

“I do,” Riku said, walking to another fracture near his hand and touching it before Sora could stop him. The same song and dance occurred, bringing down memory frames in front of them. Sora whimpered, clutching his heart as Riku unlocked a memory of Leon telling him about the keyblade’s purpose in Traverse Town. The next frame showed the moment he met Donald and Goofy, and their subsequent huddle. The next was a montage of Sora locking worlds the first time around, then when the nobodies showed up, and lastly when he had to lock kingdom hearts itself. Then, a very recent hang out between him and Terra a week after he’d returned from Shibuya. 

“So,” Terra began. “What are your plans?” 

“Plans?” Past Sora echoed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m sure Master Yen Sid wants to train you to become a master after everything you’ve done. He can’t not, now that you hold the X-blade,” Terra explained. “Or maybe you want to graduate from school first and then study?”

Past Sora seemed frozen. “Uh,” he stumbled. “I-I don’t know yet.” 

Terra smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it. It’s your destiny to be a master, you know. You were meant to do this from the very beginning. 

The memory ended and floated peacefully back up, prompting Riku to turn to him, eyes scanning the floor in contemplation before meeting his gaze. “You don’t want to be a master, do you?” 

Sora bit his lip and laughed bitterly. “Nope. But I don’t want to go to Destiny Island either.” 

“Why not?” Riku furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s what we fought for, for so long. That the three of us could go home-”

“I don’t think that’s home,” Sora interjected, smiling sadly at his best friend. “Nothing feels right there anymore, or at Master Yen Sid’s. It’s like nowhere fits me anymore.” 

Riku seemed to be at a loss for words. 

“You know how Roxas was in that virtual Twilight Town?” Sora asked. “And he just knew something was off?”

Riku nodded. He’d know better than anyone what Roxas had done while he’d been asleep. 

“He fought so hard, tooth and nail, against having to link up with me again,” Sora said. “Even though everyone around him said that was what his destiny was, what he was made to do, he didn’t care. He just kept fighting it until the very end.” Sora looked up at Riku. “I wish I was more like him, Riku. I don’t want to be a master. I don’t want to finish school. I don’t know what I want to do but I know that everyone else is wrong. I wish they’d stop talking to me as if they know better.” 

Riku stared at him before throwing his hands up. “Sora, fuck them.” 

Sora laughed in shocked disbelief. “What?!”

“Fuck Terra, Fuck Master Yen Sid,” Riku rambled, incensed on his behalf. “They don’t know half the things you’ve done and don’t appreciate you. Roxas is a brat, but he was right to question me and Diz. Because we were wrong. We could have found another way but chose a dark path out of desperation. So keep fighting, like Roxas. Whatever you end up doing, Sora, I know it’ll be something you love.”

The floor quaked again, releasing a blinding light before filling in another fracture. 

Sora laughed tiredly, overwhelmed by Riku’s speech and unsure how to respond to it. “Okay, two more to go.” 

“Sora,” Riku clasped a hand to his shoulder. “We don’t have to keep going. We can stop for now.” 

Sora looked wearily at the last two. “Maybe one more? That way it’s less work to do next time?” 

Riku nodded, walking over to the crack near his head and touching it hesitantly. 

The frames that floated down confused him immediately, because he didn’t recognize any of them. Sora frowned as Riku unlocked the first frame, showing a quiet meadow and a dark star-lit sky. He gasped as Aqua’s face suddenly appeared, jolting the memory version of him to his knees. 

“Gimme a break Kairi,” Past Sora said to Aqua. 

“Ven, you hopeless sleepyhead, ” Kairi chided Ventus, giggling. 

Sora’s heart thudded as the memory ended and Riku turned to him in worry. “Sora, what?” Riku began before thinking better of it, turning to the next frame and unlocking it with shaky hands. A clip of the organization members calling him Roxas slowly ran its course, showcasing Past Sora’s increasing anger after each and everyone one. It culminated in him defeating - killing - Demyx and screaming, “Anyone in the organization like to be next?” The frame ended, floating peacefully up to its kin.

Sora closed his eyes in shame. He was not proud of that moment, especially knowing what he knew now. He braced himself as Riku unlocked the last, wincing as he saw Axel talking fondly about Roxas and looking at him sadly when he thought Sora couldn’t see. He saw Aqua cradling Ven’s comatose body, so much like his own not long ago, and asking him to wake up. He saw the fight he’d had with Roxas on this very heart station, and the first time he’d seen Xion. And then-

“Kairi’s inside of me?” Past Sora asked Riku, confused. 

The frame paused and lifted to the sky. Leaving him and Riku alone. He guessed this was where he needed to say something. “I never asked for any of them to come to my heart,” he explained to Riku softly. “Ven asked me for help when I was little. When I was four, actually. I accepted, but I never thought it would change my entire life. And now, even though all of them have their own bodies and lives, part of me..,” 

Riku came closer to him. “Part of you what?”

Sora hesitated, not wanting to sound selfish. Riku seemed to understand. “What happens here, stays here, Sora,” he said encouragingly. “I won’t judge you for having a little darkness. We all do.” 

Sora hunched his shoulders and looked away from his friend’s earnest face. “A part of me is mad that they get to go live their lives while I’m the one with a messed up heart,” Sora 

confessed, shaking from the alarmingly heavy emotion behind his statement. “It’s not fair Riku. It’s not fair-” 

“I know,” Riku muttered, pulling him into a hug again and sighing. “I know, Sora. I agree.” He propped his head on Sora’s spikes and made a considering noise. “But if you had the chance to say no, to not host them, would you have turned them away?” 

Sora pushed back to glare at Riku. “No! Never! I love them and I’d do anything for them.” 

Riku smiled as if he’d wanted that very reaction. “Okay, then I’m proud of you for taking care of the ones you love. It’s something about you I’ve always admired, your ability to make miracles happen when people are in danger. You’re a hero, Sora. What you did for Ventus, Xion, and Roxas, hell even Vanitas - it goes above and beyond what anyone else would do. That’s what makes you Sora. _My_ _Sora_.” 

The floor moved again, jolting them apart while filling in the fracture on his head. Only one remained that cut clear across his chest. He considered how he felt and looked at Riku for direction. 

“Only if you want,” Riku smiled. “I’m okay to finish this now.” 

Sora thought it over. So far, each fracture had connected to the resident it represented. Xion, Roxas, and Ven. The only one left was the most difficult one. This one that would probably show Riku what had happened when he’d died, and how he’d won the Reaper’s Game in Shibuya. Was he ready for that? “Let’s stop, please,” Sora smiled tiredly. “I think I need time to process what just happened.” 

“Okay,” Riku smiled. “I’ll wake up now then.” 

And Sora didn’t know what to do with the overwhelming, unconditional support. How was he supposed to articulate to Riku how much his words, his validation had impacted him? How could he adequately show his best friend how grateful he was to have him? He let go of Riku’s hand as their figures began to fade from the station, happy knowing that he’d lay eyes on him in the corporeal realm.

The rain was falling harder now, creating a steady roar outside the warm room. Sora hummed and pried his eyes open, finding Riku already awake and staring at him. They were both on their sides, like they’d unconsciously moved to face each other mid-dive. “Hey,” Sora muttered to his best friend. 

“Hey,” Riku mimicked, brushing a lock of hair away from Sora’s face. “I can’t believe that little heart of yours held back so much from me.”

Sora leaned into Riku’s touch. “M’heart’s not little,” he objected. “It’s like a hotel. Hotel-sized heart.” 

Riku honest-to-god giggled, making Sora scrunch his nose up in bewilderment. “Why are you so happy? That was a terrible experience,” he lamented. 

“Actually,” Riku propped himself on an elbow. “It was amazing.” 

“What, why?” Sora groaned, copying the action so that he didn’t have to crane his neck. 

“Because I was in your heart. I saw what you saw, heard what you were thinking, felt what you were feeling-”

“I’m sorry, what?” Sora interrupted.

Riku smiled more gently. “I felt it Sora. When those memories were playing, I could hear your heart. It was afraid, at first, of what I’d say about everything. But it warmed up to me after that second fracture.” He reached out and laid his palm against Sora’s heart. “You warmed up to me.” 

Sora swallowed nervously. “Wow, no one warned me about that,” he joked clumsily. “But I’m happy you didn’t come out hating me, or looking at me differently.” 

Riku gave him a weird look. “I could never hate you, but I am looking at you differently. Things need to change, Sora. I’ll make sure they do. I think that’s what the keyblade wants.” 

On one hand, it was nice to have a mystical force looking out for him. Guidance was always a good thing, especially for someone as spacey as him. On the other hand, Sora felt burdened by the progress the keyblade expected from him. Sora huffed petulantly and tugged Riku closer. “Well, right now I just want to sleep, please.” 

“Alright, alright,” Riku chuckled. “Let me just take off this jacket.” 

They laid pressed together like the night before. Again, Sora realized, things had changed. Things between them didn’t feel like the fuzzy light of potential. No, now it felt like unconditional acceptance, safety, and promise. It felt like Riku.

And wow, he’d never wanted anything more.


End file.
